Magical Dude Mike-the-Awesome!
by KidKourage
Summary: You asked for it, you got it! Mike-the-Brother is a superhero fighting for love and peace in this IZ parody of 'Magical Girl Pretty Sammy.' I no know what happened with the 2nd chapter getting all short, but I think it are fixed now.
1. A Brief Explanation

Magical Dude Mike-the-Awesome!

An Invader Zim /Tenchi Muyô Parody by KidKourage

Prologue 

          You have been looking forward to this story since I said I was going to write it, yes?  Boy oh boy, will Mike be surprised when he reads it.  He will also probably be very angry.  But he likes Tenchi Muyô and especially Pretty Sammy, so he'll probably forget all about it.  Hee, I am such a sneaky, evil girl, aren't I?  Anyway, I promised at an earlier date that I would provide an explanation of the Pretty Sammy concept before presenting you with my rewrite, and so here you go!

So, what be the deal with that girl Pretty Sammy anyway?  This is what you may be asking yourself.  Well, Sammy is a so-called 'Magical Girl' in every annoying sense of the word: she's a cute, painfully sweet, sailor-skirted, wand-toting heroine bent on saving the world with the power of love and peace.  She's also just your average skoolgirl, and in her non-magical identity is named Sasami Kawai.  Her brother, Tenchi, is the hero of all the other Tenchi Muyô series, and is as constantly plagued by Ryoko and Ayeka in this incarnation as he ever has been.  However, that becomes the least of his worries when he discovers that his little sister is actually a magical girl!  Well, wouldn't _you_ be upset?  Imagine the pink, sparkly horror!  

Now, you're probably wondering why in the world Sammy is a magical girl to begin with.  Really, I'll bet you're wondering that.  Well, it seems that she was asked to be the champion of a slightly goofy (though smarter than she seems) goddess from the Magic Kingdom, Tsunami.  This woman is in line to be queen of all the land (stupid, eh?), but must first prove herself by making earth a better place--that's where Sammy's powers of truth and kindness come in.  However, Tsunami is not the only one with her eye on the throne; the evil goddess Ramia is determined to thwart Tsunami's plans in any way possible.  And so, she has concocted an earth-based scheme of her own.  By hypnotizing Sammy's best friend, the quiet and antisocial Misao Amano, into unwittingly working against Sammy as the evil magical girl Pixie Misa, Ramia hopes to expose Tsunami's champion to the general public, ruining her rival's chances to be queen.  Or so she _thinks_--I don't see why that would be all _that_ horrible, myself.  And meanwhile, Tenchi tries to stay away from Ryoko and Ayeka, Tenchi's teacher, the genius scientist Washu, discovers Sasami's secret but doesn't care, Tsunami pesters her advisor the 'priest-man,' Ramia orders her brother Rumiya to do things he doesn't want to do, such as turn into a bird and aid Pixie Misa, and Mihoshi annoys the spit out of Kiyone while the two work at Sasami's family's CD store.

OK, now you should be able to follow the story a little better.  Now you will be amazed as I present you with the amazing cast list for this little gem of a piece of junk!  

Mike-the-Brother…………….Mike Kawai (Sasami)

KidK……………………………K-ko Kawai (Tenchi)

Dib……………………………..Dinami (Tsunami)

Zim……………………………..Zimia (Ramia)

Gir………………………………Gir-oh-ki (Ryo-oh-ki)

Gaz……………………………..Priestess-gal Gaz (Priest-man)

Johnny C……………………….Johnny Camano (Misao)

Red……………………………..Ryoten (Ryoko)

Purple………………………….Peichi (Ayeka)

Miz Bitters…………………….Miz Bishu (Washu)

Devi D………………………….Devone (Kiyone)

Tenna………………………….Tenashi (Mihoshi)

Tess R.

Anne Gwish

Keef…………………………….Zimia's assistants--alternately (Rumiya)

Now, before you all get upset and start freaking out, please keep this in mind--it's all just a parody, of both Pretty Sammy and Invader Zim/JtHM at the same time.  I've tried to cast characters in a way that'll be in keeping with their general personalities and functions.  In fact, in my own humble opinion, the only one who'll be ironically reversing his role is Dib.  Well, see what you think.  You're the reviewers, not me.  Now read the stupid thing already!  


	2. The Actual Story!

Magical Dude Mike-the-Awesome!

An Invader Zim/Tenchi Muyô Parody by KidKourage

_Mike Wanted to Be a Superhero!  And This is What He Gets!_

          OK, hopefully you didn't take that much of a break between reading the prologue and reading this, the actual story, because I'm not going to stop now to reprint the cast list.  Everyone's names are carefully obvious, with first letters changed to those of Zim characters, so you shouldn't have any trouble.  Oh, and I don't own any IZ or JtHM characters, who belong to Jhonen Vasquez, and I don't own any Tenchi characters, who belong to Viz Communications (I looked that up).  Remember, this is _supposed_ to be extremely corny.  Pretty Sammy is a satiric take on the magical girl genre, and this story is a satirical take on Pretty Sammy.  So…well…whatever.

Our story begins in the crazy, mixed-up world of small-town New Jersey, where the life of an average, everyday high-skool student named Mike Kawai is about to change forever.  Let's take a good look at Mike before we ruin his existence, shall we?  He's an energetic, handsome ninth grader (well, tall an' skinny anyway), who does all the housekeeping for his useless parents and forever-busy sister, K-Ko Kawai (I love that name, isn't it cute?), who is currently busy with the skool's archery team.  He also helps out at the family's CD store.  Today, he's on his way home from skool, wearing the typical uniform that boys always wear in anime--black pants, black shoes, and a black, buttoned-up turtleneck shirt with white trim (remember Melvin of Sailor Moon, or perhaps Seiya, Yaten, and Taiki of Sailorstars?)  He thinks this is just going to be your average, everyday kind of day, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a black-haired, bespectacled kid in a blue and black traditional Japanese robe pops into existence in front of him!  Egad!

Dinami (scarily cheerful):  Hello, average, everyday student!  I am Dinami of the Magic Kingdom and, ahem (he begins singing an annoying little tune) I'm here to invite you to become a Magical Dude!  Oh, yes, you'll be a Magical Dude!  (Mike, not paying attention in the least, trips over the very much shorter Dinami)

Mike:  Whoa, what happened?  Oh, god, don't _tell_ me we're being infested by gnomes!  First termites and now _this_!

Dinami (resentfully):  I'm not a _gnome_, you moron.  I'm a god of the Magic Kingdom.

Mike:  You expect me to believe that?  I mean, you're all short and stuff!  And you're wearing some seriously stupid-looking clothes!

Dinami:  Well if _that's_ how you're going to be, I'll find somebody _else_ to carry out my mission of truth and justice.

Mike:  Hey, wait, did you say mission of truth and justice?

Dinami:  Duh!  I'm here on earth to select a young man to be my champion and make this world happy and full of love so I can be king of the Magic Kingdom!  Why _else_ would I be here?

Mike:  Oh, right!  That makes perfect sense!  Why didn't I guess that in the first place?  (he bonks his head like anime skoolgirls always do)  So, I'm going to be a superhero?

Dinami:  Well, if you had been _listening_ a minute ago you'd know that I am about to turn you into a Magical Dude.

Mike:  Wow, a Magical Dude?  Like Superman or the Green Lantern?

Dinami:  Sort of.  Yes, there _might_ be…_vague_ similarities…here and there…

Mike:  Well then sign me up, my man!

Dinami:  It's nice to see that you have a good attitude about this.  I knew I was right to pick an older student this time.  The _last_ kid I appeared to was a lot younger than you, and he screamed and ran off clutching his demented-looking teddy bear.  And that _other_ kid informed me that he couldn't fight for goodness because that'd be a conflict of interest with his father's business--apparently he believes his father is _Satan_…what a strange imagination.  

Dinami holds out a huge, unnecessarily ornate stick, featuring sparkly blue, green, yellow, and aquamarine jewels, lovely matching ribbons, and a giant, shiny blue diamond shape encircling an aquamarine mirror at the top.  This is in keeping with tradition.

Dinami:  Now, all you have to do is hold this neato wand here and say, 'I accept my role as the god Dinami's champion,' and you'll be a Magical Dude!

Mike (grabbing the wand):  Sweet!  I accept my role as the god Dinami's champion!  (he looks around, as if expecting something)  Hey…where's all the cool smoke and prism-y stuff?  And how come I still look the same?

Dinami:  Oh…well…ummmm…oh, that's right!  I forgot.  Now you are indeed a Magical Dude and whatnot, but to change your identity to fight evil and bad behavior you hafta wave your wand around in a rather elaborate pattern and yell, 'Magical Awesome Transformation Time!'  And then all the special effects kick in.  Really.  No lie.  Well, I've gotta go do some random god-type stuff now, so…bye!  (he pops out of existence)

Mike:  Wait!  I have no idea how to use this thing!  Or even what in the world I'm supposed to be fighting!

Dinami (reappearing):  Oh, right.  Er…here's a magical animal to help you out with that.  (he snaps his fingers and a small green dog appears)  And now I really must be going!  (he vanishes once more)

Mike:  Wow, cool!  My own magical animal!  It looks pretty stupid, though.

Gir-oh-ki:  Hiiiiiii!  My name's Gir-oh-ki and I'm gonna help you fight crime!  Yay!  Now transform!  Come on, it's fun!

Mike:  Alright.  But first I'd better duck into this convenient alleyway so no one will see what I'm doing.

Gir-oh-ki:  Heehee!  We're so sneaky!

Mike:  Now, what was it again?  Oh yes…Magical Awesome Transformation Time!

There is a very magical flash of blue light and Mike whirls around, his clothes changing as cheesy, incredibly happy music plays and various sparkly, smoky effects do their thing.  When this typical transformation sequence has come to an end, Mike is wearing a very lovely outfit which consists of the following--a light green, slightly ruffled dress shirt, a yellow bowtie, an aquamarine jacket with very long tails (ever watch Weakest Link?  Well, you know the host's neat black coat-thing…?), an unnecessarily short pair of navy blue shorts, matching blue gauntlets, yellow boots, and an incredibly giant blue hat with a yellow feather in it.  This entire mess is covered with gratuitous sparkles.  Other than this change of clothes, the only other alteration in his appearance is that a little blue diamond shape has appeared on his forehead in the usual manner.  I think that I shall be murdered when Mike reads this…

Gir-oh-ki:  Ooooooooo…preeeeeettyyyyyyyyy…  You've become the Magical Dude, Mike-the-Awesome!  Let's sing a happy song now!

Mike (regarding his odd attire):  O….kay… (yelling pathetically at the sky)  _What have I gotten myself into_?

What indeed.  Now that Mike Kawai is a Magical Dude, his amazing magical powers of…um…_magic_ will be able to thwart any evil scheme imaginable!  For sure!  Meanwhile, on the eeeeevil side of the Magic Kingdom, the eeeeevil god Zimia has been watching this whole series of events on the eeeeevil monitor of his eeeeevil console in his eeeeevil secret lab at the top of an eeeeevil mountain.  Eeeeevil.  Ahem.  He's mad now, as you'll soon see.

Zimia:  What's going _on_ here?!  How could that little monkey-boy Dinami get so far ahead of me?!  _Me_!  The evil god Zimia who will soon be the king of the Magic Kingdom!  I must devise a plan to _stop_ that poor excuse for a diety!  (he stomps through the secret lab and bumps into his assistant, Tess, who had been bringing him tea and biscuits)

Tess:  My god, Zimia!  You really should watch where you're going.

Zimia:  What?!  You dare admonish _me_?!

Tess:  Is there _another_ short, green, _stupid_ god named Zimia around here?  Why am I not _surprised_ that I have to clean up after you _again_?

Zimia:  Who are _you_ calling stupid, Miss…um…_Stupid_?

Tess:  Oh, that's the last straw.  You know, I came to evil side of the Magic Kingdom hoping to meet some nice, smart, interesting people for a change.  But _noooooo_. I had to take the first assistant job I saw in the newspaper!  Well, I can't take this anymore.  It'd be better to be poor and on Magic Welfare than to put up with morons like _you_ for one more day.  I quit!  (she strides purposefully away, secure in her decision that unemployment is better than dealing with Zimia)

Zimia:  Good riddance!  I can get along perfectly well without anyone's help!  Now I'll prove it not _only_ by creating an amazing plan to stop Dinami, but also by…making my _own_ tea and biscuits!  Wahahahahaaaaa!  And so on!  Er…I wonder where Tess keeps the teabags…  Oh, forget this!  A god of my stature should _never_ be without servants to do his bidding.  I'll just hire one of the _other_ people who applied for the job.  (he suddenly gets an idea--wow, what a concept)  Waitaminnit…other people…another person…another Magical Dude!  That's _it_!  I'll just put an evil spell on one of that stupid Dinami's stupid little champion's stupid little friends!  Then…oh, yes…I'll have a perfect way to stop Dinami's plans to rule the Magic Kingdom!  Mwahahahahaaaaaaa!  I am so evil, for I am the evil god Zimia!  (he goes back over to his evil monitor)  Computer!  Show me Mike Kawai's best friend.  

The monitor comes into focus, depicting another unsuspecting teenager on his way home from skool.  This young man is even taller and thinner than Mike, and has unruly, spiky black hair (can you imagine Johnny in one of those skool uniforms?  I'm trying to right now, and it actually don't look half bad--a bit out of place, but not _bad_, per se).  He's slouching along down the street, looking as though he'd rather not speak to or even _see_ another human being along the way.  In general, he seems quiet and introspective, a very unlikely candidate for superhero-dom indeed.  Super_villain_-dom, on the other hand…

Zimia (eeeeevilly):  _Yesssss_, he'll do _nicely_…

Uh oh…an evil plan and stuff.  Some time goes by, and Magical Dude Mike-the-Awesome quickly makes a name for himself as a true champion of justice and goodness.  He can always be counted on to wave his gaudy magic wand and make bad guys learn the error of their ways, and soon is hailed as everyone's favorite superhero.  And it's a good thing that Mike's around, say the people of the New Jersey suburbs, because there has been a recent increase in horrible crimes!  Indeed, there's a new villain in town, a tall, dark and sinister magic user known as…Pixie 'Nny-sa!  (yes, yes, cornyness…but I couldn't resist!  _Please_ don't hurt me!)  Mike-the-Awesome and his evil rival are _so_ famous, in fact, that the local high-skool's yearly play is going to be about them!  Neat, huh?  Flash to Mike's class at skool, where the cast of the play is being chosen!

Miz Bishu:  Well, you arrogant, pushy kids insisted on doing things (air quotes) 'democratically,' despite the fact that in the _real_ world your opinions and preferences count for _nothing_, and this is what you, in the depths of your ignorance, have come up with.  It looks like Mister Kawai will be filling the role of Mike-the-Awesome.

Random Female Student:  But he doesn't look anything like the real Mike-the-Awesome!  He's _hardly_ good-looking enough!

Other Girl:  Really?  I don't know, they've kinda got the same hairstyle…

Random Male Student:  And no other guy in the class would be caught _dead_ in an outfit like _that_!

Other Guy:  Yeah, sorry about that, Mike…

Mike:  Hey, _somebody's_ gotta be the star, or the play couldn't go on!

Random Girl:  Oh, that's so sweet of you!  You really _are_ a hero like Mike-the-Awesome!

Mike (thinking):  _Uh oh, I can't let on to the fact that I really **am** Mike-the-Awesome…_  Er, not really, I could never be as cool as him!

Miz Bishu:  And the role of Pixie 'Nny-sa goes to Johnny Camano, though I don't know why in the world we're even bothering to do a play at all, since this is a high-skool, not a skool for the arts.

Johnny:  Eh?  Are you addressing _me_?  Geez, now I'm stuck parading around in a stupid costume for the amusement of these sub-humans…

Miz Bishu:  Now sit quietly and count the holes in the ceiling while I ponder the mysteries of thermodynamics and how someday the sun will go out and we'll all be doomed to a dark, cold existence for a few years before we all die.  (I let a little of Washu's science expertise get through there, though of course it would be overpowered by Bitters' doominess)

Random Guy:  There's no _way_ Johnny can pull of such an important role.  He's just so…_weird_!

Other Guy:  Yeah…duhhhhh…Johnny be quiet and smart and stuff, so we make fun of him…derrrrrrr…

Mike:  You guys can just shut your ugly pie holes!  Johnny'll do a much better job than any of _you_ could.

Johnny:  Hey, thanks Mike.  Getting up in front of other people and acting stupid isn't normally my idea of a good time, but at least I'll be able to memorize my lines…unlike _these_ illiterate monkeys…

Meanwhile, as Mike and his antisocial pal Johnny were laughing at the expense of their dim classmates, the shadowy figure of a young woman in black has been spying on the whole scene.  She disappears in a very suspenseful way.  I'll bet you a nickel that you can guess where she's going…come on, live a little!  It's only a nickel!  Not going to take the risk?  Oh, alright, the woman rematerializes in Zimia's secret evil lab…

Zimia:  So, what've you got for me, my loyal servant?

Anne Gwish:  Well, let me tell _you_, Zimia, those earth kids are slaves to the system!  I mean, they've all gotta wear a _uniform_--the same thing as everyone else!  _Talk_ about suppressing originality…they probably don't even know how to put on makeup right!

Zimia:  Speaking of originality, why are you dressed like that?

Anne Gwish:  Well, I just got this dress the other day when I was shopping with my friend Cleo.  She's got one just like it, and everybody at the club said she looked really spooky and mysterious in it, so I _had_ to get one.  Though _I_ really look better in it than _she_ does, don't you think?  She tries so hard to be like me…it's sad how she's always copying my style.

Zimia:  Aargh!  Stop with the pointless banter, woman!  What information can you tell me that might actually help me with my evil plan to ruin Mike-the-Awesome's reputation?!

Anne Gwish:  Well, other than the fact that two of those conformist kids pointed and laughed at my outfit, the only thing I can tell you is that that kid Mike's skool is putting on a play about Mike-the-Awesome…

Zimia:  What good is that to me?!

Anne Gwish:  Ohhhhh…and also Mike's actually going to star in the play as Mike-the-Awesome.  And that total gothic wannabe kid Johnny got picked to play Pixie 'Nny-sa.

Zimia:  Well why didn't you say so?  This is perfect!  Now my wonderful foolproof plan is…_foolproof_!  Wahahahahaaaaaaa!  Oh, by the way, you're fired.

Anne Gwish:  Why?

Zimia:  For your failure to wear the proper uniform of a servant.

Anne Gwish:  God!  Wherever I go, I'm persecuted for my creativity!  Well if you can't cope with my differences, I'm _glad_ to be fired.  Now I'll have more time to hang out with people who really understand me!  (she gets out a cell phone as she leaves the evil lab)  Hello, Cleo?  Get this--that stupid green god-guy fired me.  Yeah, he was oppressive anyway.  So, wanna go shopping?  I heard that girl Tess showed up at the club wearing an ankh…who does she think she _is_, imitating me like that?  Yeah, I know she had hers first…but it looks so much better on me!

Zimia:  Good…she's finally gone…who did she think she was talking to?  Calling _me_ stupid!  Well, we'll see who's stupid when I set in motion my evil plan of evil!  I'll just get my unwitting minion Pixie 'Nny-sa to commit some kind of heinous crime, then somehow get someone to stumble across that Mike idiot as he transforms into Mike-the-Awesome!  Humans are so gossip-y that Mike's secret identity will be known to all by the end of the day!  But…who should be the first one to know?  Ah yes…Mike's lovely sister K-ko.  She'll be so freaked out that her brother is a sparkly-outfit-wearing Magical Dude that she'll tell the whole skool!  Now…where's that Johnny Camano when I need him…?

Flash to Mike's skool!  The class is hard at work sewing costumes, painting backdrops, and practicing lines for the impending skool play.  However, one crucial member of the cast seems to be missing…

Mike:  Hey, you guys, has anyone seen Johnny lately?

Random Guy:  No.  Did he leave or something?

Mike:  I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Random Girl:  It's not surprising that no one's noticed where he's disappeared off to.  That guy is so _creepy_.  

The class has a laugh at poor Johnny's expense, as usual, and then everyone is really surprised when the floor totally starts to shake!  Almost as if…

Mike:  Oh my gosh!  There's a giant monster wandering around outside on the soccer field!  Look, see?

Another Random Girl:  Ooo, it's so horrible and stuff!  It's gonna trample the soccer team, which is conveniently practicing right at this moment!

Other Guy:  Yeah, look, it's all blobby and huge and whatnot!  Whatever shall we do?

Meanwhile, down on the playing field:

Soccer Captain:  Oh, god, no!  Himeko Morijiri, our greatest athlete, has turned into a big blob monster and is…crushing our equipment!

Player:  Captain, what should we do?  Should we run away or fight it or what?  Man, I wish that cool Magical Dude, Mike-the-Awesome, was here!

Ah, what a lovely setup that was.  Back up in Mike's classroom…

Gir-oh-ki (peering out from inside Mike's bookbag):  Pssst!  Heeeey, Mikey!  Guess what?!  I just felt a neat magical reaction a few seconds ago!

Mike:  You mean…just before the monster appeared to terrorize the skool?

Gir-oh-ki (grinning happily):  Yep!  Oooo, magical reactions feel all fun and tingly all over!  Heehee!

Mike:  But if you felt magic, then that would mean that…

Random Girl:  Oh, heaven help us!  It's that evil Magical Dude, Pixie 'Nny-sa!  See, up on the roof!  Eeeeeek!

And, indeed, standing on the roof of the skool is an extremely crazy-looking individual wearing shiny black pants, a shirt with black and white striped sleeves, fingerless black gloves, and a pair of knee-high, silver buckled boots with silver toes.  Oh, and a goofy hat like Mike's, only black with a white feather.  You know, like one of Johnny's usual outfits, but with a hat.  And shiny sparkles.  And…I'm going to die now, aren't I?

Johnny:  Wahahahahaaaaa!  Yes, yes, run from my giant, obese, _frightening_ monster…or you will all die horribly, bloody deaths when it eats you alive!  Wow, I can't remember anything about anything that happened before I was up on the roof, but I suddenly feel an urge to commit terrible _crimes_!  _Man_ is it fun to torture these lesser beings!  _Whee_!  (remember, cuz Johnny is hypnotized and stuff--he can't remember being Pixie 'Nny-sa, and Pixie 'Nny-sa can't remember being Johnny--just thought I'd remind you)

Gir-oh-ki:  Hey, Mikey, shouldn't you be Mike-the-Awesome now?  Then you can kick some monster booty!  …I said booty.  Booty!

Mike:  Er, yeah.  But first I've gotta find a place to transform where nobody'll see me.  I think I'll go over to that secluded corner of the playing field that kinda near the archery area, where my sister is probably practicing right at this very moment!

And indeed, right at that very moment, at the archery range…

Random Student:  Hey, K-ko!  A monster is rampaging across the soccer field!

K-ko (dropping her bow):  Whaaaat?!

Random Student:  You know Himeko Morijiri from the soccer team?  She's been turned into a monster by that freak Pixie 'Nny-sa!

K-ko:  You're kidding, right?

Random Student:  No way!  She's totally tearing up the whole field!  Um…I just thought you should know, even though you probably can't do anything to help or anything.

K-ko:  Well, I had to get myself into this story _sometime_, didn't I?

Random Student:  Huh?

K-ko:  Oh, nothing.  Now I shall run over to the soccer field, my beautiful blonde hair streaming in the wind, in the hope that there will be something I can do once I get there!

Random Student:  Okaaaaay…well, I'll see you there, then.

K-ko:  Cool!

They run off toward the soccer field, but then suddenly a flying squirrel appears out of nowhere, swoops down, and mugs K-ko, stealing her purse!  Yes, you just read that right--K-ko has been mugged by a flying squirrel!  Yay!  Oh, wait, I mean…uh oh!

K-ko:  My purse!  God, the _one_ day I decide to wear one and it gets stolen by a flying squirrel!  Well, I'd better follow it--my best keychains are on that thing!

K-ko dashes after the flying squirrel, which flies around the corner and then, dropping the purse, swoops off into the sky, where it mysteriously disappears like all good plot devices do.  Our beautiful heroine retrieves her possession, and is about to walk away, when suddenly she hears someone yell out--

Mike:  Magical Awesome Transformation Time!  (he goes through his sparkly, glowing transformation sequence, then runs off to defeat the monster)

K-ko:  Oh the humanity!  My brother Mike is actually Mike-the-Awesome!  What an unexpected turn of events, since there's absolutely no similarity between the two other than the fact that they have the same name, the same hairstyle, and the same physical build!  Noooooooo!

Over at the soccer field, the student body is delighted and amazed when their hero, Mike-the-Awesome, makes his sparkly, brightly-colored appearance on the roof.

Mike:  Pixie 'Nny-sa!  You've terrorized the students of this skool by turning our star athlete into a monster!  What've you got to say for yourself?

Johnny:  Geez, who _talks_ like that?  Of _course_ I'm terrorizing the skool--I'm the _villain_ in this stupid story!  Now just get on with your magical stuff, already!

Mike:  Oh, right, yeah!  (he waves his magic wand around in a very magical way)  Awesome Energy Beam-Thingy!  Return Morijiri to her normal self!  And all that good stuff!  

The monster does as it's told and transforms back into a very bewildered Himeko Morijiri.  Up on the roof, Pixie 'Nny-sa seems surprisingly undisturbed in the face of defeat.

Johnny:  You may have won _this_ battle, Mike-the-Awesome, but rest assured that ultimate victory shall be mine!  (he leaps from the roof in a dramatic and stylish fashion)

Meanwhile, K-ko _is_ disturbed.  _Deeply_ disturbed.  What will she do now that she knows that her brother is that flashy-dressing superhero, Mike-the-Awesome?  It's now evening, and K-ko is trudging home from skool trying to decide whether to let anyone else in on Mike's little secret.  Well, her contemplating of the problem is about to be interrupted as two tall, suspiciously green guys who constantly follow her around are about to make their move.

Ryoten (grabbing K-ko from behind):  Oh, K-ko!  I've been looking all over for you!  Now you _know_ you promised to walk home with _me_ today!

Peichi (shoving Ryoten):  That's such a lie!  My love K-ko told me she's walking with _me_ this evening!

Ryoten:  Why would she ever want to be seen with a wuss like you?

Peichi:  How dare you!  K-ko, tell him that you love me and that we're meant to be together because of destiny and all that stuff I was telling you about the other day.

Ryoten:  No way!  K-ko is _mine_, because I can fight good and fly and walk through walls and cool stuff like that!  Tell him, K-ko!

K-ko (wow she's upset):  Would you both just leave me _alone_?!  Get out of my face!

She runs off, leaving the two pushy guys stunned that their uncalled-for advances were not received in a more positive way.  Oh well, maybe next time…and there will be a next time--these two just don't know when to quit.  Anyway, K-ko makes it home, and enters the family CD store, where the two afternoon employees are currently busy cataloging the newest shipment.  Well, _one_ of them is, anyway.  The other is having too much fun squeeking her little skeleton toy.

K-ko:  I'm home.  Hi Devone.  Hey Tenashi.

Tenashi:  Oh, hi, K-ko!  Say hello, Spooky!  (squeek!)  

Devone:  A call came for you a little while ago.  It was your brother's teacher, Miz Bishu.  She said she had to talk to you at the park tonight.

Tenashi:  Yeah, me and Spooky were wondering what's up with that?  (squeek)  I mean, why would _his_ teacher want to talk to _you_?  (squeek) And this _late_?  (squeeek)  And in the _park_!  (squeeeek!)

Devone:  Yeah, are you sure that's safe?  Do you still have that mace I loaned you?  There's so many crazy, simpleminded morons out there…I _swear_ that Mike's friend Johnny was _looking_ at me funny the other day.

Tenashi:  Aw, come on, Devone!  You need to get out more!  (squeek)  He prob'ly has a crush on you or something!

Devone:  Don't start with me, Tenashi.  The _last_ guy I dated got all freaked when I broke up with him and tried to run me down in his Porsche!  

Tenashi:  Are you _still_ worked up about that?  (squeek!)  He crashed his car into a nursing home and _died_!  But if you still need help, you can always talk to Spooky here!  He's always got the right answers!  (squeek)

Devone:  No!  I won't talk to Spooky!  I hate that thing!

K-ko (making a hasty retreat):  I'll…just…go see what Miz Bishu wants…

A few minutes later, at the park…

Miz Bishu:  I suppose you're wondering why I wanted to see you.

K-ko:  Well, yes.  I mean, you're not _my_ teacher, and--

Miz Bishu:  Silence!  I just wanted to let you know that I'm _on_ to your brother's secret.

K-ko:  Oh god!  Not _that_!

Miz Bishu:  Yes.  That.  And I want you to know, too, that if he ever misses class to save the planet from doom--which is pointless because we're all dying from the moment we're born anyway--that he'll fail my class!

Mike (who just happens to be walking by):  Oh, man!  We had to stay after so late!  Hmmm…why is K-ko talking to Miz Bishu?  I'll just listen in on this conversation…

K-ko:  So?  What's that got to do with me?

Miz Bishu: Don't ask _me_!  I'm just an underpaid, underappreciated servant of the educational system, doomed to an awful existence wrought with disrespectful students, poorly written essays, and…chalk.  (she goes off on another tangent)  I was a Magical Girl once…but then things went horribly _wrong_…

K-ko:  Um…whatever…this all seems like an elaborate device of some kind, but I wonder what the motivation behind this seemingly unimportant scene might be.  At any rate, we'd better not let anyone else know that my brother is Mike-the-Awesome, okay, Miz Bishu?

Miz Bishu (zoned out):  Doooom…doooooom…dooooooooom.  Oh, are you still here?  Go home now, and contemplate the horror of your existence!

K-ko:  Er…sure.  (the two exit)

Mike:  H-how?!  How did they learn my secret identity?  _How_?!

At that moment, Zimia is watching the action from his evil secret lab.

Zimia:  Ha!  It looks like my plan is working out perfectly, as I expected!  Mike-the-Awesome's confidence has been shaken, and tomorrow…I move in for the kill!  Mwahahahahaaaaaaa!

Keef (he's the new servant--for now):  Hey there, master Zimia!  I made you some waffles!

Zimia:  Not now, Keef!  Can't you see I'm reveling in my filthy evil?

Keef:  You don't like waffles?

Zimia:  Of course I do!  Now put them on the table and get lost!

Keef:  OK!  Can I be a flying squirrel again?  That was so neat!  I was thinking that tomorrow we could _both_ be flying squirrels, and we could go to the Magic Kingdom _Circus_!

Zimia:  And put my plan in jeopardy?  No way!  Now go find something to scrub or…something.

Keef:  Oh, goody!  (he's nuts)

Meanwhile, Dinami, whom we haven't seen for quite some time, has also been keeping an eye on events on earth, using the magic crystal ball that is standard issue for anime dieties.

Priestess-gal Gaz:  Dinami!  How can you be so stupid?  Your stupid champion kid has totally screwed everything up!

Dinami:  Nah!  This is nothing!  Everything will be fine!

Priestess-gal Gaz:  Are you kidding?!  He got himself discovered by not one, but _two_ humans under very suspicious circumstances!  And Pixie 'Nny-sa is really getting out of hand!  I'll bet that loser Zimia is behind this.

Dinami:  Well then it's _definitely_ not a problem.  That guy couldn't make a plan if…somebody…(he finishes lamely) gave him one.  Ummm…anyway, let's just see what happens tomorrow, OK?

Priestess-gal Gaz:  Like I've _got_ that kind of time!  I've already wasted so much valuable time with you, when I could've been working on the Magic Kingdom's exclusive new Game-Boy Advance game, Magic Duel of Bloody Shrapnel and Pain!

While the Priestess-gal beats up Dinami for wasting her time, time, in fact, passes!  Now it's the next day--the day of the skool play that we've all been looking forward to since…yesterday!  Let's watch as the opening act performs!

Announcer:  And now, for your pre-play entertainment, it's…the fabulous karaoke duo, Ryoten and Peichi!  (they enter, shoving each other the whole time)

Ryoten:  Now you do exactly what I told you to.

Peichi:  Why _should_ I?  The way _I_ planned it is _better_!

Ryoten:  But _my_ way has the big finish with the _lasers_ at the end!

Peichi:  Lasers?  Pfft!  Everyone _knows_ smoke machines are better!

Ryoten:  Why should _you_ get what you want?  It's not like you can sing.  I'm the real star of this show!

Peichi:  Are you kidding?  _I'm_ the one who always has to cover for _your_ mistakes!

Random Audience Member:  Are those two fighting _again_?

Other Viewer:  I don't think this is a real song at all!

Director:  Oooooo!  You guys always mess everything up!  You're ruining my debut show!  (she bonks them over their heads with a giant rubber mallet and drags their humorously lifeless bodies offstage)

Announcer:  And now the play will begin!  We proudly present to you…Magical Dude Mike-the-Awesome!

The audience goes wild as Mike and Johnny, dressed for their respective parts, appear onstage and begin their fight scene.  Mike is a very good actor, having starred in every skool play since kindergarten (it's true, he has).  Johnny, on the other hand, seems very embarrassed about the whole thing (and who _wouldn't_ be?).  Anyway, soon the make believe Pixie 'Nny-sa has been vanquished, and Johnny is free to go.  Or so he thinks…

Director:  Hey, you didn't totally blow it like we all thought you would, Johnny!

Johnny:  Whatever.  That's the last time you'll ever coerce me into getting on that stage, however.  You people seem to enjoy harassing me enough as it _is_ without my giving you a legitimate _reason_ to.  I'll just go home now.  (he goes out to the hallway and makes his way toward the exit)

Zimia (spooky evil disembodied voice!):  Oh, no you don't, Johnny Camano!

Johnny:  I recognize that spooky, evil, disembodied voice!  _You're_ the one who always tries to get me to _do_ stuff for you!  And then I always black out and can't remember what happens!  But you won't get me today!  You see, I've been trying very hard not to let any of the horrible, bland, childish evil of high-skool get to me, and I think I've been doing a good job of dealing with my ape-brained classmates, of hiding my anger and just getting on with this miserable life.  But this is too much! 

Zimia:  But wouldn't you just _love_ to get back at all those stupid humans?  

Johnny:  Yes!  Of course!  But on _my_ terms, not yours!  I'm not your toy!  

Zimia:  Yes, yes, we go through this charade every time I need you to be Pixie 'Nny-sa.  You get all upset and yell, and then I--because I'm such a powerful god who deserves to be king of the Magic Kingdom--make you be Pixie 'Nny-sa anyway.  So just give up.  Magical Evil Transformation Time…um…_Happen_!

Johnny:  I control me!  I control my destiny!  I control--(there is a flash and a little *ting* sound effect.  Johnny stops his little tirade and grins a really manic grin) I control the power to destroy all the people who've hurt me!  They'll get what's coming to them, at the hands of…Pixie 'Nny-sa!  Muhahahahaaaaaa!

Meanwhile, back in the auditorium, Mike continues to dazzle the audience, fighting costumed kid after costumed kid.

Mike:  You can always count on me!  I'm Mike-the-Awesome!

Tenashi (in the audience--duh):  Wow!  Mike looks so cute in that outfit!  Don't you think so, Spooky?  (squeek!)

Devone:  Did you _have_ to bring that thing?  Why are we even _here_, anyway?  Shouldn't we be _working_?

Tenashi:  Didn't the boss _tell_ you?  He's totally paying us to come and cheer for his son!  (squeek)  And anyway, you needed to get out of that stuffy old store and live a little!

Devone:  Only _you_ would prefer watching a lame high-skool play to peaceful, normal work.

Announcer:  And so, Mike-the-Awesome has saved our town!  We'll never forget his awesome magical powers and admirable courage in the face of evil!  The end!

Suddenly, the whole room goes black!  Oh no, what could be happening?  Then, a single spotlight flashes on, illuminating the rafters above the audience, where stands the menacing figure of everyone's most dreaded supervillain, Pixie 'Nny-sa!  Please, mommy, make it stop!

Johnny:  Hello, everybody!  Now it's time for the real show to begin.

Audience Members:  Oh, horror of horrors, it's the real Pixie 'Nny-sa, come to kill us all in a horrible, evil way!  Somebody help us, pleeeeeze!

Johnny:  Now, I'll bet you're all wondering why I'm here, ruining your pathetic excuse for a play.  Well…I'll _tell_ you!

Random Girl:  He's going to tell?

Random Guy:  He's going to tell!

Other Random Girl:  He's going to tell?

Other Random Guy:  He's going to tell!

Johnny:  Shut up!  This isn't a Holy Grail parody, though that would be funny indeed!  No, you people have made a mockery of _enough_ noble institutions without adding classic Monty Python movies to the list.  I'm speaking, of course, of your total lack of regard for the values of respect and dignity!  You claim that your society embraces diversity, yet you all verbally persecute those who differ from the average!  Well I'm here to show you that--

Zimia (disembodied whisper):  Hey, you!  That's not what you're supposed to be doing!  You're supposed to be revealing Mike's secret identity!

Johnny:  Oh yeah, right.  Ahem.  I'm here to show you that…Mike Kawai is really Mike-the-Awesome!

Audience Members:  Gasp!

Mike (uneasily):  W…what are you talking about?  I'm not…I'm not Mike-the-Awesome.  I'm just…Mike.

Random Guy:  I knew it all along!

Girl:  Oh, really?  You liar!

Other Guy:  Hey, Mike, we should be friends now, since you are cool!

Another Girl:  Mike!  Be my boyfriend!

Mike (thinking):  _Uh oh!  I've gotta get out of here!_  Cut it out, you morons!  There's no way I could be Mike-the-Awesome, despite our similarity of appearance!

Audience Member:  Oh yeah?  Then _prove_ it!  Show us the real Mike-the-Awesome right now!

In the Magic Kingdom, Dinami appears unfazed by this horrible turn of events, much to the chagrin of Priestess-gal Gaz.

Priestess-gal Gaz:  How can you possibly not _care_!  This is a _catastrophe_!  Your chances for becoming king are getting washed down the drain, and you're just standing there doing nothing!

Dinami:  I'm not doing _nothing_, Priestess-gal.  See?  I'm trying to figure out this Rubix Cube!

Priestess-gal Gaz:  Oh, that's it!  I'm through with you!  You're always bugging me with your failure to notice that anything might be messed up about your plan!  (she takes out her Game-Boy and resolves to ignore Dinami until the end of time)

And back at the skool!

Zimia (spooky voice again):  Hey, 'Nny-sa!  Make a monster, and then Mike will have to transform in front of everybody!

Johnny:  Can I have the monster explode the heads of those guys that always push me into the lockers and make fun of my hair between classes?

Zimia (impatient):  Fine, fine!  Just make a monster already!

Johnny:  Neat!  Hey, look, it's Mike's sister K-ko!  I'll bet _you_ know that your brother's really Mike-the-Awesome, don't you?

K-ko:  Me?  Well I…

Johnny:  Now, I know you've never done anything to me in the past--in fact you gave me that Aqua CD for free that one time--so I'll do you a favor and put you out of harm's way…by making _you_ into the monster!  (he waves his own magic wand-thingy in K-ko's direction)  Evil Pixie Magic Cannon!  Turn K-ko into a horrible blob monster!

Well, it had to happen eventually.  I'm a hideous, fat blob monster.  I blame my mother--always ready with cookies and pies and cakes and…oh, wait, I'm not really K-ko.  I forgot.  Well, anyway, K-ko's a hideous, fat blob monster, and is towering over the hapless audience!

Audience Members:  Eeeeeek!  Help us!  What can we _do _to stop this horrid _beast_?!

Johnny:  Now you cruel, heartless people get what you deserve!  K-ko Monster!  Explode their heads with your head-explody powers!  Hurrah!

K-ko Monster:  ……………………..

Johnny:  Hey, didn't you hear me?  It's head exploding time!

K-ko Monster:  ……………………..

Johnny:  Oh, right, I forgot.  You don't _have_ head-explody do you, K-ko?  Sorry, I was thinking of somebody else.  Ummm…what powers _do_ you have…?  Well, you're on the archery team, right?  So…shoot them in the heads with giant laser arrows!  That's…_almost_ as good!

The K-ko monster somehow produces a giant bow made entirely of electricity (hey, I call 'em as I see 'em) and aims it into the audience.  Meanwhile, it would appear that Dinami actually has a plan for once!

Dinami:  Hey, I've got it!

Priestess-gal Gaz (looking up from her newly-begun game):  Yeah right.  As if, Dinami, as if.

Dinami (with echo-effect!):  Time…Stop!  (And so, Dinami stopped time in the Magic Kingdom)  You always say that I'm stupid and airheaded, Gaz, but I've done it this time, boy oh boy!  Now Zimia can't do any more damage, and I can go help Mike out!  But first…

Before leaving to bail out his beleaguered champion, Dinami takes some time to draw all over the Priestess-gal's face, Jigglypuff style, carefully doodling 'Zimia Wuz Here' on the catatonic advisor's official Priestess hat.  Then, he disappears in a cloud of smoke and sparkles.  What's he up to?  Just read on!  Back at the skool once more!

Johnny:  Hey, Mike!  Aren't you going to transform yet?  Your sister is really making a mess of things over here!  Though…she hasn't actually hit any people yet…god, she's a bad shot--who recruited _her_ for the archery team?  Well, anyway, there's still property damage abounding!  Now transform or I'll kill you myself!  (he suddenly looks a bit confused)  But why would I kill my only friend on this repulsive planet…?

Zimia (thinking):  _This human was a bad choice, not that I'd ever admit it…he keeps resisting my evil hypnotic powers!_  Do not question me!  I control your mind!  Just do it!

Johnny:  Oh.  Right.  So transform already, Mike!

Mike:  Oh no!  I can't change here!  If I do, it'll prove I'm Mike-the-Awesome…and then I'm doomed!

Gir-oh-ki (magically appearing):  Did somebody say doom?  I'm gonna sing the doom song now!  _Doom_ doom _doom_ **_doom_** doom _doom_ doom **_doom_**!

Johnny:  Not gonna do it?  I'm not surprised, since nobody _ever_ seems to do anything I want them to…hey, yo, K-ko!  Shoot him now!

The K-ko blob aims an electricity arrow at Mike, of course not realizing that he's her brother, since she's a monster and all, and fires.  However, the arrow is deflected at the last second by…

Random Guy:  Hey, how come there's _two_ Magical Dudes on stage now?!

Random Girl:  That would totally mean that…Pixie 'Nny-sa, you big phony!  Mike's not Mike-the-Awesome!

Other Guy:  That's right!  He can't be, cuz the real Mike-the-Awesome just appeared and stuff!

Ralph Wiggum (in a rare fanfic role):  You're deceptive…

Onstage, Gir-oh-ki makes a realization!

Gir-oh-ki:  Heeeey!  I'll bet you're that little god-guy in a costume, riiiight?

Dinami (who is indeed dressed as Mike-the-Awesome):  Hey, keep it quiet!  People aren't supposed to know that!

Mike:  Is that really what I _look_ like?  Man, after this, I'm _so_ through with this stupid outfit!

Dinami:  Shut up and listen!  I've got these people believing you're not Mike-the-Awesome…but now we have to switch places quickly so you can vanquish the monster!

Mike:  But I can't transform here!

Dinami:  I'll make a big smoke cloud so you can!  But that's the extent of my magical powers here on earth.  Once you change, you've got to take my place as Mike-the-Awesome, and I'll cower in the background as if I'm normal old you!

Mike:  Okay, okay…sheesh, you don't have to be so insulting…

While this conversation is transpiring, Pixie 'Nny-sa is distracted by the audience's angry jeering.

Random Girl:  Go home, Pixie 'Nny-sa!  You're not scaring anyone with your lies!

Random Guy:  Yeah!  Even though we were on your side and believed you before--despite the fact that you're clearly an evil villain--we now see the truth!  

Other Guy:  So get out of here!

Johnny:  You're all just so _stupid_!  You brainless apes!  

Yet Another Girl:  Who are you calling brainless?  You're the one wearing that ridiculous hat!

Johnny:  Oh…yes, that's about the level of thought you're capable of, isn't it?  Making fun of my hat…oh, yes, that's very clever and insightful of you.  You should be proud.  I now no longer care who I hurt!  If Mike dies, who cares!  He'd probably turn on me eventually anyway!  Everything good eventually leaves me!  Flowers wilt, beauty fades…the milk goes bad…  So now we'll _see_ who's ridiculous!  K-ko Monster!  Don't miss this time!

The monster fires at Mike again, just as Dinami enacts his spell for a big cloud of, not surprisingly, _aquamarine_ smoke.  Within the cloud…

Mike:  Magical Awesome Transformation Time!  (Mike transforms, then he and Dinami switch places onstage)  I'll stop your evil arrows and save K-ko!

Johnny:  Ha!  I doubt it!  You think you can stop me with that magical stuff that you do?

Dinami (as a cowering Mike):  Oh dear!  This is scary!

Gir-oh-ki (getting into this):  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Dinami:  Hey, don't yell in my ear Gir-oh-ki!

Mike:  Shut up, good citizens!  As you can see, I am the real Mike-the-Awesome, while this person is just an unreasonable facsimile portraying me in a play!  See, there's a difference!  

Audience Members:  Oh yeeeeeaaaaaah…

Mike:  Now watch as I use my real actual magic powers!  For I am the real actual Mike-the-Awesome!  (he leaps toward the monster, waving his…er…_awesome_ magic wand)  Super Cool Amazing Blue Diamond Beam of Starlight!  Turn K-ko back to normal!  Wa-ha!

There is a very nice dramatic moment as the Super Cool Blah Blah Etc Beam hits K-ko and transforms her back to her stunning self, albeit leaving her unconscious.  Still, Mike-the-Awesome has made at least two audience members very happy, for K-ko has fallen on top of…

Peichi:  Ah, my darling K-ko!  You've fallen from the sky like an angel into my arms!

Ryoten:  No way!  _I_ caught her!  Are you OK, K-ko?

K-ko (befuddled--a normal state of affairs):  Uhnnnn…my head…

Peichi:  Don't let him touch you!  He'll probably poison you and call it medicine!  Here, let _me_ take care of you.

Ryoten:  Don't worry, K-ko, I'll take you home to _my_ place so you can _rest_..heheheh…

K-ko (too dazed to argue):  Whatever…

Meanwhile, Pixie 'Nny-sa is in quite a pickle…I like that word, pickle.

Johnny:  Wow…he's…better than I thought.  I'm gonna git while the gittin's good!  (he sprints off into the hallway)

Zimia:  Oh, you're just useless!  I'm _through_ messing around with you!  I'll find somebody _else_ to brainwash!  Magical Evil Transformation Time Reverse!  Huh…stupid humans… (the voice fades away, leaving Johnny all by himself)

Johnny:  Huh?  What just happened?  Or, a better question--why can't I _remember_ what just happened?  Well, whatever it was, I feel…_different_ now…more in control.  Whatever was in my head is _gone_.  This is great!  I'm the sole possessor of my consciousness!  Things will be different now, I'm sure of it!  (he looks around, deciding what to do next)  I'm gonna find that girl Devone and profess my love for her!  (he hesitates)  Wait…that would open me up for almost certain rejection…not a good idea…(he thinks some more about what he can do with his newfound freedom)  I know!  I'm gonna move into a brand new house all my own, decorate it just how I want, and buy myself a pet!  A dog…no…that's too expensive...  A rabbit!  A cute little bunny I can take care of in my new house!  Time to go check those classified ads, for surely there's got to be at least _one_ cheap, possibly abandoned house in this town!

And with that, Pixie 'Nny-sa--no, _Johnny Camano_--ran away to begin a brand new life.  Back in the auditorium…

Mike:  Now, now, citizens!  Mike-the-Awesome has no time to sign autographs now!  Oh, OK, maybe I can sign a few…

Girl (cuddling up to Dinami):  Oh, Mike, I thought it was _so_ brave of you to stand up to that _aw_ful Pixie 'Nny-sa.  Even though you're not the _real_ Mike-the-Awesome, you're _my_ hero!

Other Girl:  Yeah!  Totally!

Dinami:  Ahahaha…^_^*  I've gotta go.  

He runs off and, after losing the fangirls, magically teleports back to the Magic Kingdom.  Once there, he carefully works out the solution to his Rubix Cube, draws a few more squiggles on Priestess-gal Gaz's face, and then…

Dinami:  Time, Time, Time…Start Up Again!  (he snaps his fingers and time returns to normal in the Magic Kingdom)

Priestess-gal Gaz:  As I was saying, Dinami, there's no way you could possibly have come up with a decent plan to…hey, stop looking at me like _I'm_ the stupid one!

Dinami:  But, if you'd notice, dear Priestess-gal, Mike-the-Awesome has magically dealt with the monster problem and saved the day!

Priestess-gal Gaz (looking into the crystal ball with disbelief):  But…just a second ago…  What the heck is going _on_ here?!

Dinami:  Well…I saved the day!  I appeared as Mike-the-Awesome, thus dispelling all rumors that Mike Kawai is a superhero, and then we switched places so Mike could stop the monster without being given away!

Priestess-gal-Gaz:  Oh, yeah right.  Like I'm really gonna believe _that_, Dinami.  Come on and tell me what _really_ happened.

Dinami (dully):  It was love.  Love made the miracle.  (Tsunami's actual explanation from the actual comic book)

Priestess-gal Gaz:  Oooooh…love, eh?  Sounds like the kind of corny, stupid thing that usually happens in stories like this.  I knew it couldn't've been _you_, Dinami.

Dinami:  Oh, Priestess-gal?

Priestess-gal Gaz:  What do you want _now_?

Dinami (holding up a mirror):  See?  You got Zimia's autograph!

Priestess-gal Gaz:  Oh my god!  What did that little green nutcase do to my face?!  He's gonna pay dearly for this!  

She poofs out of existence and reappears in Zimia's secret evil lab, where Zimia is more than a little surprised to see her.

Zimia:  What?!  My greatest enemy's greatest advisor, here?!  Get out, stinky little Priestess-gal, before I am forced to use the full extent of my evil powers on you!

Priestess-gal Gaz (eyes ablaze with anger):  **_I…don't…think…so_.**

And so the story came to a lovely close for all concerned, except for Zimia, who was forced to clean Priestess-gal Gaz's huge temple with a toothbrush.  But then, he is evil, and thus doesn't deserve a happy ending.  Mike Kawai kept his secret identity a secret, and continued to battle for truth, justice, and the suburbian New Jersey way…albeit not against Pixie 'Nny-sa, who was never heard from again.  There was, however, a string of extremely brutal murders that even Mike-the-Awesome couldn't solve, but that might've all been a coincidence.  Maybe.  K-ko continued to be constantly harassed by Ryoten and Peichi, who could never accept no for an answer and also could never stop bickering amongst themselves.  Devone quit her job at the Kawai family's CD shop to do what she'd always wanted to do--get away from Tenashi.  Tess finally met some nice people, while Anne Gwish found more people to talk about behind their backs.  Keef…well, Keef was appointed chief waffle-maker to the Magical Animal Gir-oh-ki, and so both of them were very content with their lives after that.  Miz Bishu, on the other hand, simply continued to exist…as she will until the end of time.  Dinami went on to become king of the Magic Kingdom, and ruled with an iron fist, in direct contrast to what one would expect of him.  Turns out he was just a megalomaniacal evil genius who'd figured out a way to fake it (no one could possibly be as forcefully dense as Tsunami and not be plotting something).  And they all lived happily--and awesomely-- ever after.

_The Magical End!_

_La La La!  Oh, Yes, He'll Be A Magical Dude…_

**ß****Insert Sparkles and Cheesy Music Here****à******

****


End file.
